These days every morning I check up the Ananya's blog as she has the habit of writing everyday. I am really happy to promote her blogs because I always wanted her to blog as she has the ability to tell things intrestingy rather than intresting things. I can write (hopefully) interesting things but in a not so interesting manner. Everyday when she feels excited about her blogs attracting more number of visitors, I can sense her happiness as I felt the same few years back. When comparing with my initial days of blogging I feel Ananya is more confident and has the command over the language than what I had then. Also she had started blogging in Tamil from day one, which had advantages for her, whereas I took close to 3 years to start blogging in Tamil because of technicalities involved. Everybody can feel that their expression in their mother tongue is always better than that done in other languages. And.... I happened to react differently to same situation last week.
Whereas I messaged to my another friend next day, who had this complaint of the caller number not being displayed, asking him whether I can call him then. He replied with an SMS that he is at outside and "Don't worry about calling him". Even though I didn't understand the "Don't worry about calling me" meant, I didn't call him after that instead I mailed him. Later I came to know that "Don't worry about calling me" means "Don't call me now". The situations are same, replies are also same but the reactions towards them were different. In the first case I was glad that he didn't pick the phone, whereas in the latter instance it upset me with a question underlining the insecurity in the relationship. I was hurt by the second message that if I don't have the liberty to call somebody on an evening whom I consider them close, what is there in that relationship? Don't know whether my reaction would have been different if the reply message was composed differently. Even though it was a small incident that made no difference in my friendship, but definitely had left a bitter taste behind.
Ananya, who read the above paragraph, commented that it is abusive. My intention is not to point fingers at anybody - but just want to show that how the choice of words make difference considering the recipient. I too don't pick some calls at the leisure times but that depends on the reputation of the callers. I hate long sentimental / sympathetic / bragging conversations, which I indicate them that I am not comfortable with. But even after that if the conversations remain the same, I take up the call to entertain such phone calls or not. Applying the same logic, I am trying to figure out how I sounded to him.
Change.... change is the constant thing in everybody's life. For me I look for changes more often. Right now I feel I am in a comfort zone, with a feel of complacency. So I wanted to disturb the equilibrium by coming out of the comfort zone. I am proposing of buying a new home (ofcourse with a long term bank loan) and moving to it while elders are not so enthused about that. This is the only way I think I can push myself because with no long term commitment I feel secure financially & by feeling financially stable, I feel bit brattish in my attitude. Let us see how much this equilibrium disturbing works.