{mosimage}Last week when cleaning the kitchen I came across lot of polythene bags, which we got while buying vegetables and groceries. (Hey guys, in Chennai also I saw Al Kabeer frozen parathas and chapathis, the vegetable sections of Spencers Daily and Reliance Fresh are very much like what we had seen in Lulu and EGM. Ofcourse the prices are also like as in UAE). We normally don't throw the bags hoping that it can be used for other purposes like "wrapping the tiffin box" and "gathering the garbage", but the problem was the supply exceeded the demand that the loft of the kitchen was literally filled with polythene bags. Throwing them led to the 'cleaning' mode that I sat down to throw the unwanted papers and things, whatever little I had. I remembered the fights and arguements that came as a part of parcel every time I 'clean' the house.

it Co-incidence or surprise, most of my favourite things are in 'C' e.g, Computers, Camera, Cooking, Cinema, Coimbatore are few to name but there is one 'C', which I hate to core, but still couldn't escape it. It is a 'C'ity called 'Chennai'. I had lived in & seen many places, but I never felt that 'C'omfort in Chennai. I tried to recall my days with Chennai, but still couldn't fathom one pleasant / comfortable moment in Chennai. I have just tried to find out various aspects of 'C' in Chennai. I make no bones in admitting that I am very much uncomfortable in Chennai

All is between twoAs I always believe, relationship is strictly direct between two individuals ONLY and should not be influenced by how one of the protagonist reacts with a third person. Not what we see turns to be the true thing always. Many a times we might just see a floating object and mistake it for the tip of an iceberg. For past few months and a couple of years I am always ending in this problem. Somebody forms an opinion about me by observing the way I react with certain individuals. When I approach them directly, they seem to be prejudiced over what they had seen. I have got some incidents of heart breaks and find it hard to prove that I am far removed from their opinion. There was one Mr. R in the Coimbatore office I worked. Everyone used to say that he always shouts at everybody and so when I speak with him I used to prepared for a verbal assault.

இப்போது முடிவெடுக்க வேண்டிய முக்கியமான தருணத்தில் நான் நிற்கிறேன். எந்த ஒரு சராசரி இந்திய ஆணை போல நானும் திருமணம் என்ற பந்தத்தில் பற்றும், நம்பிக்கையும் கொண்டு இருந்தேன். ஆனால் கடந்த சில மாதங்களாகவே ஏனோ திருமணத்தின் மீது ஈடுபாடு குறைய தொடங்கியது. ஒருவேளை என் வாழ்க்கை நான் விரும்பிய திசையில் போகவில்லை என்ற வெறுப்பின் தொடர்ச்சியாக, ஒருவேளை திருமண வாழ்க்கையும் அது போல ஆனால் என்னாவது என்கிற விரக்தியாகவும் இருக்கலாம். இல்லை நான் பார்த்த வரையில் 99% தம்பதிகள் ஒரு கட்டத்துக்கு மேலே தாங்கள் சந்தோஷமாக இருப்பதாக ஒரு போலியான / civil facade - ஐ உருவாக்கி, ஒரே கூரைக்குள் இரு துருவங்களாக, ஒரே படுக்கையில் கூட உறங்க முடியாமலே, சலிப்புடன் வாழ்ந்த்து வருவது, எனக்குள் கல்யாணத்தின் மேல் ஒரு பயத்தை உருவாக்கி இருக்கலாம். எது எப்படியோ.. நான் தனியாளாக வாழ்வதாக முடிவெடுத்துவிட்டேன்.

{mosimage}It had been a long time I have been dreaming an IT career. Ever since computers caught my fancy, I wanted to move to computers. Unfortunately I couldn't make it. Call it my indecisiveness / inability to convince my father to put me in computers, there had been a considerable delay. Despite all these I managed to take my move towards an IT career after 10 years since its inception. I came back to India to start my IT career and despite a promising start, I am still at nowhere. It has been days since my certification and it seriously poses problem. It is not the problem now because I waited about 10 years to make this happen and I can wait for even 10 months. But by problem is something else..

{mosimage}Nothing succeeds like a success - this is not a glamorous fad, but there is every inch of truth in it. When success comes it brings a whole set of attitude changes along with it and same can be said when it eludes you. It just saps all of your energy making you feel an all time low. At this moment I can definitely feel the changes associated with success and sunshine, as I am feeling an all time low in my professional front. Since nobody can be blamed at this moment, I am just waiting for the right tide. No! I am not romanticising this period of ebb, but striving to float without my morale sinking. It is really a tough time to keep answering the questions of my friends - "What happened to your job front?". Even though I am thankful to all those concerns showered over me, every time that question arises it just takes away something from me leaving myself all energy sapped. Thats the reason I am completely cutting off from the friends and acquaintances, till I can have the answer for their question. I am not depressed when I am alone, but when some guests / phone calls from friends drop in, I get jitters. Previously I couldn't identify with the similar situation, so I had preached my friends "Do this.. Do that..", now I feel them as I am in their shoes right now. Like Ambika once wrote me "This phase will pass by.." and I am just waiting for that.

{mosimage}Last week when I went to Bangalore, I happened to see a Tamil auto rickshaw driver, banging on the doors of the small roadside temple, with tears rolling on his cheeks, crying and talking loudly to God something that went like this "Why did you do this to me? Are you going to shut their mouths from commenting, if so how many people you can do it...". A sight that disturbed and disturbs me a lot even today. Poor soul, don't know how grave was his problem that he was made to "talk" to God. I sincerely pray that God solve his problems as soon as possible. How many people have this "courage" to shed tears? I remembered the post of my mama, which went like this "... I want to cry but as I am a man, I couldn't cry. I am crying through my writings because pen has no gender". We have stigma attached with tears when it comes to men. Any living being of all sex and sizes, who have emotions and feelings are bound to shed tears, but the men society is deprived of the privileges and comforts that come with tears.

{mosimage}I came across this interesting debate in NDTV recently on a program called "Indian Youth Unplugged". It was just a debate with no conclusions, quite interesting to watch. This blog is my take on the "Indian Parenting". I seriously opine that Indian parenting is truly protective, sometimes over protective than being supportive. I don't mean to say that this is the right / bad way of parenting because I had seen the cases with best & worst of the results. The results depend on how the level of understanding of the parents, to be precise in most of the cases - father. No matter how old any individual is, they are still kids to their parents, but in the eyes of a typical Indian parent even 30 yr old man is a "child". This is the basic reason for Indian parents being over protective.

For past few days article no. 377, in the Indian Constitution had been in news. It is about criminalising Homosexual activities. Many famous writers and personalities had requested the government for decriminalising the homosexuality, thus giving it a legal status. This blog is not about discussing about that but today I saw a programme called "Life's like that" on TimesNow TV, about "Infidelities in a relationship". All was blah.. blah... about the infidelities in a marriage life, which something was cliche, something new, but what I found bugging was a participant's outburst on infidelity in a Homosexual relationship, while the notable thing was - he is a student.

{mosimage}Infact I wanted to water down the words to describe about the mega serials in the TV, but couldn't. I don't mind if it sets a wrong reputation about me. All filthy words come fluently when I wanted to vent against the so called "entertaining" mega serials. I want to kill the bastard who stumbled upon the idea of daily soap. I want to torture those 'mother f*****s' in public who script these mega serials. I really want to throw the idiot box out of my home fearing for these mega serials. But I am really helpless and incapable, thats why I am venting out my angst in the form of this blog. It is really sad to see the family bonds eroding and minds corrupted through these slow poison fed to the minds of ladies and even men these days.